We here at Liberal Lunacy poke fun at Democrats and Liberals by inventing stories that aren't true, but based on past actions and/or words COULD be.
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To go to FreeRepublic.com, please click the badge. To see an EXCELLENT video on Sarah Palin, click her picture. DON'T bother clicking on the No Liberals sign. Like most things liberal, IT DOESN'T WORK.
Palin '12 - Change you'll be begging for
The Nazis have us figured out and we don't know why - (Diversity is our strength)
(Washington, D.C. - 11/8/43) After a number of confusing loses in North Africa and mainland Europe, the Army is desperately trying to figure out how the Nazis seem to know exactly what we're going to do, when we're going to do it, and how we intend to get it done.
In a statement released today from an anonymous official, the confusion seemed apparent:
"We know and understand exactly what needs to be done in order to win this war, one of which is adding additional troops to the combat theater but the administration seems to be dragging their feet on making a decision. We know enlisting and employing Nazis in our intelligence division seems to be a problem, but diversity is what makes the Army great. We simply can't figure out where the leak is that's resulting in our enemies seemingly knowing our plans."
"Before anyone jumps to conclusions and blames our policy on using Nazis in our intelligence division, let me make
it perfectly clear we believe diversity is our strength."
"We also wish to advise that repeated criticism of our diversity policy by former General (now Captain) Patton has
resulted in a reduction in rank: He's to be given sensitivity classes, diversity classes and some time to develop tolerance of those
who seem to be different."
"To make it very clear, criticism of our diversity policy is a career ender."
Developing..
Breaking: International Strippers Union Capitulates, gives Obama Pole Dancer of the Year Award
(Atlanta, Ga. - 10/10/09) After viewing all of the awards given to Obama yesterday, (See a partial list here), and not wanting to be left out, the International Strippers Union has given Obama the coveted Pole Dancer of the year Award.
"His ability to spin around in circles while doing nothing but fleecing customers out of their money has given him a unique perspective on what is required for a successful presidency based on hope and change, increased taxes, regulation, intervention and very little the people can actually put their hands on."
"For these reasons, he was a unanimous choice for this award."
Breaking: NHL cancels season, awards Stanley Cup to Barack Obama (And other news)
(Hockeytown, USA - 10/9/09) In a stunning announcement today, a spokesperson for the NHL Commissioner issued the following short statement:
"We are pleased to present the 2009-2010 Stanley Cup to President Obama for his innate ability to skate around every issue that comes his way. Forwards, backwards or sideways, his skating ability is second to none."
"We are also seriously considering awarding him the Defenseman of the Year award not only for his backwards skating ability, but also his ability to defend against everything he's done wrong by effectively blaming all ills on someone who hasn't been in office for almost a year. The fact that people actually buy this defensive maneuver is testimony to his skills."
In other news, the Vatican has confirmed a request by un-named special interest groups to immediately beatify Saint Barack of Chicago bypassing the normal 5 years after death requirement for this honor. The Vatican is resisting this however, amid increased criticism that they're obviously
racist for this delay in granting the request.
Developing..
Lost ballot boxes found - Unnamed agency insists IOC voting was flawed
(Washington, D.C. - 10/2/09) In a very short statement, an un-named community organizing organization insists it has located ballot boxes in Copenhagen that held a large amount of votes for the City of Chicago and will formally protest the "flawed" voting that has taken place.
"We detest the flawed voting that has taken place in Copenhagen and have proof not
all votes were counted, and millions of people in Chicago have been disenfranshised by this obvious injustice. We plan on presenting this proof to the IOC, in conjuction with our SEIU brothers and sisters, and volunteer to personally oversee the recount to ensure a fair outcome. If Chicago has been honestly eliminated, we'll live with that decision."
Developing..
Chicago reassures the world: Social club disagreements involving boards are very rare
(Chicago, Ill 9/29/09) In light of the video going viral on the internet showing
a vicious disagreement between social clubs with differing views in which an innocent young man was inadvertantly beaten and subsequently expired, the City of Chicago was quick to reassure the world that this sort of thing is extremely rare.
Said an anonymous spokesperson, "Reassurance to the world is needed in light of this video that disagreements between rival social clubs involving boards is very, very rare in the City of Chicago. This is not the normal way disputes are resolved. Most of the time they're resolved by the launching of high speed projectiles under cover of darkness. There is no need for visitors to our fine city to worry they'll be involved in any of this as long as they are in their hotel rooms, with doors double locked by 8 p.m., do not venture beyond clearly marked areas during daylight hours and don't look anyone directly in the eyes as this could be interpreted as a sign of disrespect, leading members of social clubs to believe you need an education in the art of not dissing anyone."
"We also want to state, with conviction, guns are illegal in the City of Chicago and all law abiding citizens are prohibited from owning them."
Developing..
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